Knave Knews:  Newsletter for the Urban Knaves of Grain/DuPage County, IL

December 1998/January 1999


Table of Contents


KNAVES SET FOR LUNAR LANDING

On Dec. 17th, the Urban Knaves will once again prepare to touch down, in a soft landing at Lunar Brewing, for our annual "meeting on the road". All who attended last year's festivities agree, that it was one of our best meetings ever. This year we shall attempt to eclipse even that. In addition to our usual monthly doings, there will be appetizers served starting at 7pm. And unlike last year's visit, "The Man on the Moon", owner Jules Roels, is now brewing at his facility, and the brewery will be open for non-guided tours. Lunar Brewing has a nice selection of bottled and tap beer. And if the Apricot or Raspberry Ale doesn't quite do it for you, try Lunar's own Berliner DoppelWeizenBock. This is sure to be a memorable evening, so make your plans now to join your fellow Knaves in Villa Park for all the fun.

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THE PRESIDENT'S CORNER

This being the final Knave Knews of 1998, the temptation is naturally to recap the events and happenings of the past year. I'm avoiding that temptation this time since there's so much more to present in terms of events taking place both this month and the beginning of '99.

As the club veterans (anyone who's been a member for at least 6 months) know, the December club meeting is usually "on the road". That is, we choose another locale besides John's to meet at. This year we are making a repeat visit to Lunar Brewing in Villa Park for the December meeting on the 17th (note the date change). As is also the tradition for the December meeting, the club will be providing a buffet of various appetizers free of charge to members and their guests who attend. This year's menu (chosen by your board of directors) includes the 3 B's (not to be confused with the 3 C's), Buffalo chicken wings, BBQ meatballs, and Beef taquitos with salsa. The buffet will be oppen starting at 7:00. Club announcements will start at the usual time, 7:45. Lunar is located at 55 E. St. Charles Rd.; just east of Ardmore; approximately 1 mile west of Rt. 83.

The December meeting may also include a fashion show featuring the new club sweatshirt. Assuming the stock arrives in time for the meeting, they will be available for purchase at the previously announced price of $20 for L or XL, and $22 for XXL and XXXL. We are also hoping to have the new club pint glasses at the meeting (assuming Libby can supply our embosser in time). These glasses are priced at $5 ea. with volume discounts as follows: 4 for $18, 6 for $25.

Contrary to what you may think, the monthly Social Night will NOT be preempted by the Lunar bash. For those in the holiday spirit, the December Social Night will be held at Fox and Hounds in Aurora on the 12th. This pub is located just north of the Fox Valley Mall at the intersection of Rt. 59 and New York St. (next to Sportmart). Members, family, and friends are invited to join other Knaves anytime after 7:30.

In January, Joe Formanek will be brewing his Belgian Dubbel at Lunar Brewing to represent the UKG in a Chicagoland homebrew club "beauty contest" (see related article in this issue). Joe's dubbel will be on tap with the other area clubs' offerings (one per club) in a popularity poll to be conducted by Lunar patrons. So vote early and often (maybe it will be based on which keg runs out first). We'll hopefully have more details at the December meeting.

Don't forget that at January's meeting your 1999 dues will be collected. So that you don't think your trip to John's on Jan. 28 will be a waste of time just to pay your dues, we will also enjoy a side-by-side comparison of the three barleywines that were brewed at Total Beverage this past May by Tom Oelrich, Russ Johnson, and Shane Coombs. As you may or may not recall, these ales were also brewed using the same ingredients (although one of the brewers took some liberty in the yeast used--come to the meeting and see if you can tell which).

Rounding out the events for the beginning of '99, don't forget the Drunk Monk Challenge (DMC) taking place on March 6 at Founder's Hill in Downers Grove. This should give plenty of advance notice to get it on your social calendar. You will be hearing more about this at future meetings. Needless to say, we will need a good turnout from the membership to assist with the logistics of this event and to serve on various committees. This is a great opportunity to get in touch with the club and other members as well as advance your knowledge of beer and brewing.

Finally, I would like to thank the board of directors for their support and insight over the past year as well as all the members who volunteered their time and effort at meetings and other events to make this club the success it is.

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REAL ALE FEST RESULTS

In case you were wondering, here is a list of the winners at this year's Real Ale Fest.

Best of Fest Awards

Cask-conditioned

Bitters and Pale Ales

American Pale Ale - Blue Grass Brewing Co., Louisville, KY

Dark Ales

Dogfish Head Chicory Stout - Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Rehoboth Beach, DE

Strong Ales

Big Grizz Barleywine - Carver's Brewing Co., Durango, CO

Bottle-conditioned

Obsidian Stout - Deschuttes Brewery, Bend, OR

Individual Category Awards

Cask-conditioned

British-style Bitters

GOLD - McDuff's Best Bitter, Gritty McDuff's
SILVER - Sawtooth Ale, Lefthand Brewing Co.
BRONZE - Brooklyn Pennant Bitter, Brooklyn Brewing Co.

American-style Pale and Amber Ales

GOLD - Not Awarded
SILVER - Pale Ale, Blue Star Brewing Co.
BRONZE - American Pale Ale, Blue Grass Brewing Co.

Strong Bitter/IPA

GOLD - India Pale Ale, Goose Island Brewing Co.
SILVER - ImPaled Ale, Middle Ages Brewing Co.

Scottish Ales

No medals awarded

Mild and Brown Ales

GOLD - Climax Nut Brown, Climax Brewing Co.
SILVER - Brooklyn Brown Ale, Brooklyn Brewing Co.
BRONZE - Wild Goose Nut Brown, Wild Goose Brewery

Porter and Stout

GOLD - Dogfish Head Chicory Stout
SILVER - TeaParty Porter, Back Bay Brewing Co.
BRONZE - Eclipse, Brew Moon Restaurant & Brewing

Old Ale, Strong Ale and Scotch Ale

GOLD - Saint Arnold Christmas Ale, Saint Arnold's Brewery
SILVER - Old Boneyards Barleywine, Pizza Port/Solana Beach
BRONZE - Lusty Gnome Ale, John Harvard's

Barleywine

GOLD - Bearded Pat's Barleywine, Blue Grass Brewing Co.
SILVER - Barley Wine, Three Floyds Brewing Co.
BRONZE - Big Grizz Barley Wine, Carver's Brewing Co.

Specialty Beers

GOLD - Not Awarded
SILVER - Not Awarded
BRONZE - Belgian-style Abbey Dubbel, Flying Fish Brewery

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WELCOME NEW MEMBERS!

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IT'S EASY FOR A GOOD FROG TO GO BAD

He doesn't look that bad. But he is a Bad Frog. Jim Wauldron made sure of it. He is the designer of the Bad Frog logo and founder of Bad Frog Brewery. He also received $150,000 in legal expenses from the state of New York when they lost a lawsuit trying to ban his beer. And it all started with a T-shirt. Wauldron's small graphics firm was creating animal graphics for T-shirts that were to be sold to department stores. Most of the animals were ferocious types like jaguars and lions and bears. But he also drew a frog. Everybody in his office kept saying the frog was "wimpy" and shouldn't be used; it didn't belong with ferocious animals they said. So Jim redrew the frog with his middle digit extended upwards and dropped the drawing on peoples desks saying "You want a BAD FROG? Well, here you go." This turned their derision into laughter so they made the frog into a poster and hung it up in the office. Next, they made up an assortment of Bad Frog graphics for T-shirts. They did a Bad Frog Football, Bad Frog Basketball, Bad Frog Hockey, and Bad Frog Beer graphic. Then they started to sell the Bad Frog Beer T-shirts and they sold well. but people started asking for the beer! Jim quickly learned a thing or two about the beer business, and started making Bad Frog beer through a contract with Frankenmuth Brewery. Then things got real crazy. Bad Frog was featured on CNN,ABC,CBS, NBC and FOX. Bad Frog was banned in 8 states.Bad Frog got his own NASCAR, Offshore Boat, Racing Truck and National Champion Hydroplane. And now, Bad Frog is starting to open a series of Bad Frog Taverns. Not bad for such a small amphibian.

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LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

A Scots restraurateur has discovered what could be one of the world's most expensive pints of beer. A 1902 bottle of King's Ale brewed by Bass, Ratcliffe and Gretton has stood undisturbed for decades in the cellar of Bekir Alkoc. The ale was discovered in an alcove when Mr. Alkoc knocked down a stone wall. Mr. Alkoc, 50, said: "I was absolutely amazed. It still looks as if it is drinkable. For it's age it seems to be in remarkable condition. I have no idea how the bottle came to be in my cellar, but I think the building was a pub in the old days." Mike Bennar of CAMRA said the bottle, brewed in Burton-on-Trent, could be of real value. He said: "Any beer that is as old as that is of great interest. It is of value to collectors although it probably does not taste that good. Lots of our members collect bottled beers so there is bound to be a lot of interest in it." King's Ale was brewed to commemorate a visit of King Edward VI to the Bass brewery. About 400 gallons were made with orders from Buckingham Palace.

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HOW NOT TO BUY BEER

Since we've turned 21, buying beer has become a rather commonplace experience for most of us. For this we should all give thanks. Compared with what is possible, the mundane can indeed be a blessed event. Here are a few stories of people whose beer purchases were anything but mundane. First there is William Lee Beck, 41, of Lake Havasu City, AZ, who walked into a convience store in early August. The only thing unusual in this behavior was the large rock he was carrying. Mr. Beck walker over to the cooler, removed a 12-pack of beer, approached the counter and said he would pay for the beer the next day. When the clerk told him such payment arrangements were unacceptable, Mr. Beck then said, "How 'bout I crush your skull with this rock?". He then raised the rock in a threatening manner. With that, he left the store and got into a car, driven by a woman. The woman returned 30 minutes later with a check from Beck made out to the store for $5.00. Deputies later located and questioned the woman, and she led the cops back to her home, where they found Beck asleep. At first unable to wake him, the police eventually rousted him out of bed and took him into custody. The rock was "booked into evidence". Also in Arizona, this time Phoenix, a 41-year old store manager was killed after he tried to desparately chase down a shoplifter suspected of stealing a 12-pack of beer. Edward Bernero died from head injuries he received after jumping on the hood of the suspect's car to prevent him from fleeing the Walgreen's parking lot. Then there was Lester McClinton. The 33-year old man complained to the store owner that he had been sold the wrong brand of beer. The store owner, Man Say Voong, argued with McClinton, then shut the store's security gates, trapping them and two other customers inside. Mr. Voong then pulled out his gun and shot Lester McClinton dead. Voong then told the two customers that remained alive, "You think I feel sorry? Well, I don't." When one of those customers then screamed, Mr. Voong shot her in the arm and held the people hostage for 14 hours. Philadelphia Common Pleas Judge Robert A. Latrone convicted Voong of third-degree murder and attempted murder and sentenced him to 15-40 years in prison. And finally, what if you're already behind bars and want to buy yourself some brew? Well, Frank Bertrand and his buddy Timothy Nottingham escaped from the minimum-security lockup at the Prunytown (WV) Correctional Center last October. To celebrate, the pair walked into a nearby convenience store to buy a six-pack of beer. The store clerk asked for indentification, proof they were of legal drinking age. Bertrand, 21, and Nottingham, 23, didn't have ID's. So they decided to walk back to jail! Prison officials had no idea the men were gone until they returned. Bertrand, jailed on burglary and other charges, and Nottingham, serving time for grand larcenya and other charges, were transferred to Mount Olive Correctional Center - the state's maximum-security jail. Both were charged with in-house escape.

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ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS

This story may interest the folks at Guinness World Records, but it may really be more from Ripley's Believe It or Not! Police in South Australia were running a safety check (road-block) when they pulled over a 26-year-old driver about 2am. As part of their check the driver was administered a breath-analysis and according to the story the un-named subject blew a whopping 0.497!! Medical experts said it was incredible that he was even conscious with such a high blood alcohol level - but police at the scene said he appeared to be only moderately affected by the alcohol. Sgt. Terry Patton of Mt. Gambier said, "He was middle of the range, he said he had been consuming beer most of the night." Drug and Alcohol Council director Robert Ali said people with blood alcohol levels that high would normally be comatose or dead. A blood alcohol level of 0.4 is potentially lethal, while many drinkers would be unconscious at 0.2. No mention was made of any other tests being administered to check the accuracy of the first breathalyzer.

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IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD

Is it me, or is the whole world drunk or crazy? When you're 21 years old, you think you can do anything. And what Marcos Quiroz of Oxnard, CA wanted to do right then was party with his friends. So he went on down to the Vagabond Inn where his friends had a room and started drinking beer and raising hell. Not too remarkable a story you say. What makes this story different is that earlier that afternoon, Marcos had received a gunshot wound in the side in a drive-by shooting. When the motel called the cops on the noisy party animals, Marcos got mouthy at first. Then he tried to make a run for it. With the help of a little pepper spray, the police subdued the youngster and he was taken into custody, where the police discovered the wound. ....Election laws can be funny things. They vary from state to state and are written and re-written to favor whoever happens to be in power at that particular time. In Germany, they have strange election laws too. And some even stranger political parties. German law requires state funding for any political party that wins at least 0.5% of regional voting. That is well below the 5 percent of the vote required to gain seats in parliament, but even if these small parties lose the election, they could still get some cash. So there are car freak parties, animal lovers parties, feminist parties, Christian, communist and radical environmentalist parties. But my favorite is the Anarchist Slamdancing Party. Their campaign slogan is "Free beer for all." That is awfully hard to argue with. Unfortunately, the rest of their platform is ridiculous. "We are for the the total re-stupidification of humanity and for the balkanization of Germany," party leader Karl Nagel said. And you thought Lyndon LaRouche was a nut. ...In Copenhagen, a Danish man bade his dead father farewell by taking his corpse for a motorcycle ride. Flemming Pedersen, 37, asked the staff at the hospital where his 86-year-old father died if he could be left alone with him for a while. He then dressed the corpse in leather gear, boots, a helmet and dark sunglasses and walked it out of the hospital. He then strapped Dad to his Harley-Davidson with elastic straps and drove around metropolitan Copenhagen for three hours, visiting his father's favorite spots. At one point he stopped at a curbside bar, where he bought two beers and stuck a lit cigar between his dead father's lips. Pedersen said he had taken the last ride with his father to have a chat with him and that he felt good about it afterwards. ...In Ireland, a laborer who ran out of money for his beer, stole a cucumber and, brandishing it as a gun, used it to hold up a bank. James Conway, 31, had travelled to Glenties, Co. Donnegal, where he was to work on a friend's house. When his workmates failed to arrive, he adjourned to the nearest pub. When his money ran out, Conway went next door to a supermarket and stole a cucumber and a black plastic bin liner. He hid the cucumber in the liner to make it look like a sawed-off shotgun and went to the Bank of Ireland where he forced the manger to hand over £100. Conway then ran down a sidestreet, threw the cucumber over a garden wall and returned to the pub. The police tracked him down and arrested him, but not before he had spent £40 f the stolen money. At his trial the defense lawyers told the judge their client had a drinking problem (like he couldn't figure that out himself) and Conway was given a six-month suspended prison sentence.

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HOW PABST ALMOST LOST THEIR BLUE RIBBON

Back in the days before there was any such thing as a BJCP, who knows what criteria was used for judging beer? How did Pabst win it's Blue Ribbon and who gave it to them? Well, it can now be told that it was almost Budweiser Blue Ribbon! The year was 1893 and the event was the Columbian Exposition. Pabst had won other ribbons in the past, but this competition was intense because major breweries were competing for the thirst of the American beer drinker. In preliminary events, Anheuser-Busch won six medals and Pabst five. So the final judging was closely watched. After arguments over makeup of the judging panel and how points would be awarded Busch came out the winner. But judges the said they had found impurities in that beer (beechwood chips perhaps?) and gave the award to Pabst. Adolphus Busch became enraged and appealed the decision. The fair commission first announced no award would be given, then changed it's mind again and named Anheuser-Busch winner, before Capt. Frederick Pabst persuaded the judges to switch winners yet again. Not the kind of guy to give up easily, Adolphus Busch pursued one of the judges to Europe, still hoping to win on appeal and to strike any reference to impurities. Busch miised the judge in Berlin, so he followed him to France. "At Paris I missed him again," he wrote home, "as he had left for Montreux and from there to Baden-Baden where I caught up with him and by fine diplomatic talk and 1862 wines, Chateau Metternich, he capitulated....It was a costly battle, but I think more costly to the defeated than to us. You have no idea what tricks were resorted to. I found out things in Berlin which I never expected. Pabst wanted to win at all hazards and at any cost, but to no avail." Unfortunately for Mr. Busch, in September 1894, almost a year after the original competition, the commission refused to reconsider and the ribbon stayed with Pabst. Adolphus Busch later said when advising against entering future competitions, "Prizes are not given to the goods meriting same, but are secured by money and strategy."

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CLUB COMPETITION NEWS

Congratulations to Shane Coombs whose Scottish Ale was chosen to represent UKG at the next club-only competition being held in Wichita, Kansas this month. Shane's ale was judged against eight others; the most entries submitted in all of our six club-only judgings this year. Good luck, Shane! Thanks goes to Don Alton and John Mains who volunteered to judge the nine Scottish entries. Shane's winning beer was then judged against six other beers submitted in various styles (a few Belgians, a Bock, a Weiss, an American Pale) to choose another UKG entry; this time for the Lunar Brewing, Chicago clubs competition to be held the middle of this month. When the foam finally settled, Shane's Scottish couldn't quite beat out Joe Formanek's Belgian Dubbel for the honor of moving on to Lunar for the next round. Joe will now brew his beer at Lunar where it will compete against other club's winners also then brewed at Lunar. The club thanks John Kleczewski for "volunteering" to help judge these varied beers as well as tutoring ultimate-novice judge, Darrell Proksa, on the fine points of that which we call sensory evaluation. Hopefully, all who entered beers for this past year's club-only judgings found it to be a valuable experience as well as those who volunteered to judge or steward. Thanks also to Steve McKenna and Shane Coombs for assuming the organizer/registrar role for these informal competitions.

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The Urban Knaves of Grain Are Proud to Present

THE 1ST ANNUAL DRUNK MONK CHALLENGE

March 6, 1999

Founders Hill Brewery, Downers Grove, IL

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DR. FRANKENSTEIN, I PRESUME

It may look like a scene from some mad scientist's laboratory, but it's actually just beer. Not any beer though. You usually only get this kind of frenzied fermentation with one very special kind of beer...barleywine. With all the fermentable matter that you need to make a barleywine, the little yeastie monsters just go crazy with hunger and it looks like some sort of jailbreak. Back in May of this year, Shane Coombs, who supplied this picture, Russ Johnson, and your editor, took part in the AHA's Great American Brew-Out. We all brought our brewing equipment to Total Beverage in Naperville, set up in front of the store, and at precisely 1:00pm CST, we lit our kettles, and started making the Big 10/20 Barleywine that was being made at the same time all across the country. Now at the January meeting, you will get a chance to taste the fruits of our labors, as we bring the barleywine in for its first formal presentation. Although Russ and I have snuck a bottle or two of this big beer into the last couple of meetings, this will be everyone's chance to taste all three side by side. So plan on joining the crowd at John's Buffet on the 28th of January for this special tasting event.

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MORE BEER NEWS

Cheers to New Glarus Brewing Co. and Capital Brewing Co.! The Beverage Testing Institute of Chicago named those two southern Wisconsin breweries among the world's 10 best. Wild Goose Brewing of Frederick, MD was the only other U.S. entrant on the list. Capital Brewing was ranked seventh best and was the highest ranking U.S. brewery in the competition. "This is a serious group of tasters, people who really know their beer," Capital Brewing brewmaster Kirby Nelson said. "We're very pleased." New Glarus was designated 10th best. It was the second time the company has been on the list. "It means we're consistently producing good beers," New Glarus brewmaster Daniel Carey said. "It's easy to do something outstanding once, but to do it day in and day out is difficult." The institute said it sampled 999 beers from 25 countries. The institute, which also tests wine, liquor, and champagne, started its beer competition in 1994. The list's top brewery was Privatbrauerei Aying of Aying, Germany.


Russia is the next hotbed for beer growth. Industry analysts expect beer sales in Russia to grow by 60 percent by 2002 as the dominant market position of vodka comes under threat from more youthful and trendier beer brands. Market analysts Datamonitor said beer sales in Russia, Europe's third largest market, had increased by 13.5 percent a year between 1993 and 1997 with the market's value growing at 19.2 percent. In 1993 the value of the beer market was just five percent of the vodka market, but will be over 50 percent by 2002 ( or sooner if Boris Yeltsin buys the farm). "Another fundamental factor has been the change from the production of cheap, generic beer to more expensive, branded brews," Datamonitor said. "Ales and stouts are now an essential part of brewers' portfolios as Russian consumers savor stronger tasting beers."


This story comes out of England, but the same thing may be happening in an HMO near you. The University of Newcastle surveyed newly qualified doctors in the Northeast of England and found that excessive drinking and drug usage was common. In the surveyof 90 junior doctors at 18 hospitals, 60 per cent were drinking above the recommended safety limits of two pints of beer or equivalent per day for a man and one and a half pints for a woman. Ten doctors, four men and six women were drinking at hazardous levels, defined as over 25 pints or equivalent per week for a man or seventeen and a half pints for a woman. One man drank 42 pints a week (six a day) and one woman drank 30 pints a week. Overall, the doctors' drinking had increased since they were medical students. More than a third of the men and almost one-fifth of the women surveyed used cannabis and more than one in ten of both sexes said they used other illicit drugs including magic mushrooms, LSD, ecstasy, amyl nitrate and cocaine. The main reason they gave for their drug use was "pleasure" (who would have guessed!). The authors of this study, writing in the British medical journal The Lancet, say that the lifestyle of junior doctors uncovered by the survey is unlikely to be confined to the Northeast.


Back in 1957, the D.G. Yuengling & Sons brewery began using the slogan, "America's Oldest Brewery" on it beer, posters, steins and clothing. Then in 1993 it applied for a federal registration mark for that slogan. Sounds simple enough. Yuengling was established in Pottsville PA in 1829 and nobody else was making this claim. But wait, here comes the boys from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, the Molson Breweries voicing opposition to this registration mark for Yuengling, claiming that they are North America's oldest brewery, having been continuously operating in Canada since 1786. Canada? America? Uh, hey guys, I don't know how to tell you this, but Canada is not America. And now the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has ruled that Yuengling can use their slogan, because for most beer buyers the term "America" means the United States - not Canada. Molson argued that the "misdescription" on the Yuengling beer likely affects the purchasers' buying decisions.

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LATE BREAKING BEER NEWS

Tampa Florida's 40-year history as a major brewing town dried up when the Stroh Brewing Co. said it will close its plant and eliminate 154 jobs. The announcement came three years and about a block away from where Anheuser-Busch made its announcement closing the company's Busch Garden's brewery. Although never a serious rival to Milwaukee, the two Tampa breweries in their heyday rolled out more than 4 million barrels a year of some of the industry's most popular beers, including Budweiser, Pabst and Schlitz. In an area with an average annual wage of about $26,000, unionized brewery workers in Tampa could earn up to $70,000 with overtime. The Stroh workers lagged the industry average - estimated at $48,100 a year in 1994 - but earned $13 to $14 an hour and up, officials said. Workers agreed to wage concessions when Stroh re-opened the plant in the late 1980's after it was shuttered by Pabst. Now those workers face the prospect of Christmastime job searches in an area known for a low-wage, non-union labor pool. The Stroh brewery will be closed by Jan. 30, 1999. ....Frederic W. Gettelman, a master brewer from one of the families that gave Milwaukee its rich tradition as a beer producer, has died at the age of 83. Gettelman, who died of natural causes on the 30th of November, was chairman of A. Gettelman Brewing Co. in 1961 when he and a brother sold the 107-year-old frim to Miller Brewing Co. The Gettelman firm began in 1854 as the Menomonee Valley Brewery, started by Alsatian immigrant George Schweikart. His son-in-law, Adam Gettelman, began running the brewery in 1876 and later changed the name. "Milwaukee's Best", a popular-priced beer made by Miller that has been among the nation's top 10 selling brands, was a Gettelman label. ....Maybe one reason Mr. Gettelman lasted until his 83rd birthday was his beer. "Beer has no caffeine, no cholesterol, no fat," said Dr. Ken Walker, also known as the syndicated columnist W. Gifford Jones. "In moderation, it is very sound medication." The real problem, Walker says, is the nachos dripping with cheese and other treats that often go with beer. Similar arguments have been made about the medicinal qualities of red wine, something the French have used to reap financial reward. But the beer industry, Walker believes, hasn't managed to capitalize on the health benefits of its product. "The industry does a poor job of promoting the good side of beer."

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Last modified 1/18/99.